I grew up with social justice advocates as parents. While the dominant paradigm modeled “Only my tribe, that’s who I care about and concern myself with daily," my parents showed me differently through their work. In 1979, when I was 6 years old, my mom read an article about the suffering of communities of color on LA’s Skid Row and took action. She dropped everything and devoted her life to developing new responses to systemic racism that have been kept alive in many forms such as housing instability and homelessness among disadvantaged and vulnerable populations. In so doing, she became a loud and persistent advocate for human rights and against systemic racism. She didn’t limit her actions by asking “Who am I to do this? Have I done enough inner work to be ready to instigate change?”
She acted instead on what she felt needed to be done, not waiting for someone else to do it. She followed her heart, spoke truth, and took action. Together my parents took kids in need into our home and modeled the only perspective that has made sense to me since: We are all in this together. An unjust system is unjust to all.
As a white woman, even with the constant education I received growing up, there were times when I chose to “turn down the volume” on the oppression I witnessed because it was just too painful. This feels vulnerable to name, but as a white person, I had the privilege of turning away when it felt like too much.
The reality of recent events is that it is impossible for anyone to turn away. The recent events Americans have witnessed up close offer a call to heal our traumatic history..
I will quote Chief Seattle, who witnessed the persecution and genocide of indigenous peoples through the same spirit of white supremacy that has done violence for 400 years to the black community:
If not us, who? If not now, when?
So many people are asking: What should we do now? How can we help address the systemic racism that is around us every day?” If you are a white person, you may be asking yourself, “As a white person, what is my role in this?”
I, personally, am steeped in deep listening at this moment, feeling the grief in my heart and knowing that although I do not know the exact steps, I do know there is a divine call for collective healing. I do know that individually and collectively we have what it takes and that when we move beyond the ego and let go of fear, we are guided on behalf of the greater good.
Through meaningful conversations with inspiring BIPOC colleagues, as well as white colleagues, I’ve created a living and in-process Resource List, that I hope is helpful. I’d also like to offer some encouragements, particularly for those of us who are white:
There is no judgment required in this work. Being unaware of the complex issues around racism doesn’t mean you are yourself deficient in some way or racist yourself. Being born into a society that has normalized racism does not mean you are bad. Please let go of judgment and find the wide open space in your heart that has room to hold this complex issue and history.
Instead of just being an ally and asking how to support black people at this time, understand that it is not their problem. An unjust oppressive world that does not include and allow all to belong to it is ALL of our problem. It is a gift to take joyful responsibility for the collective. It is simply unfair to our world, to our children and to our ancestors to uphold any discriminatory lens.
Take direct actions that support the black community, redirect resources, and help ensure that the changes which need to happen are happening. Please see the growing Resource List for more information.
Stay grounded. This is equally a time to take action and to stay grounded. Grounding cultivates presence and clear seeing rather than reactivity, especially when we experience the sacred messengers of grief and outrage. Join me on Tuesdays and Thursdays for Grounding if this would support you.
Make it your business to be as educated as you can. Allow yourself to be humble and embrace having a lot to learn, even if you’ve been engaged in social justice work for years. Come to terms with the reality of white supremacy and understand the history that got us here. Educational resources are included in the Resource List to help you get started.
Embrace the invitation of collective shadow work. There is no bandaid fix to this problem. Many people are asking, What part of this collective shadow of racism is mine to own? ALL OF IT. Our shadows are those attributes and qualities that are inconsistent with the self-concept we are trying to maintain, but that we are often not aware of. If you have a spiritual practice you know that shadow work begins by being willing to stay present with discomfort and pain in order to see clearly and allow for healing.
Remember that implicit racism is implicit because we cannot even see it. If you are white-skinned, you’ve been in a position of privilege in this country, a country that has been built on white supremacy. The biases, judgments, and othering of people of color, which has been passed down for so many generations, has been so engrained, it can be like skin. We can be well-intentioned and yet not even aware of it.
Be aware of white fragility. This term defines a lack of willingness to be with the discomfort of racial issues. Just as we can take it personally or become defensive when we think we are being criticized, we can find ourselves feeling defensive in response to the invitation to investigate implicit racism. One of the gifts of spiritual practice is learning to receive feedback as a teacher of love. Please apply this to your investigation of racism.
Be aware of spiritual bypassing. Spiritual bypassing is the use of spirituality to avoid facing and dealing with difficult emotions, unresolved wounds, or developmental needs. There is no sense preaching compassion or practicing “all one” if we don't ensure that the entire human race feels a sense of belonging and equity. Imagine yourself as a black mother, father, sister, brother, or child…. and take the time to let yourself feel... from the deepest place inside of you.
Follow your heart, speak your truth, and take action. For this encouragement, my mother has been one of my greatest inspirations. She spoke up when she saw the need for change and took leadership. Instead of “Someone’s got to do something,” she knew, “I’m a someone. I can do something about this.” Consider joining Nina Simons and I on July 5th at 11am PT/2pm ET for a Truth-Telling Ritual - more information coming soon.
I offer these reflections humbly and with active hope. I’m aware that I'm writing to a diverse audience that has different life experiences. As a white woman who is always learning myself, I am open to receiving your feedback. To go deeper, consider joining me in one of the following offerings, for courageous, compassionate engagement.
